Monday, April 30, 2007

Never the twain shall meet

It's his question, not mine. It's not my question as to one man's doing or to several men's accomplishments. That's not my question. In fact, that's just it - it's never been so clear a question for anyone else. So clear a division. So clear a purpose.

My question is inherently, unequivocally blurrier. Presently, that's my unfortunate fortunate fate. I wandered, and now I'm stuck wanderless wondering how to continue wandering; and instead of making any decisions only focusing on the decision I'd be ripping from free will; digging deeper into uncertain future with Vonnegat's semi-colon staring me in the face. Move here, move there, stay, go, talk, shut up, sushi party, potential niece alongside blissfully happy love. I once was found and now I'm lost, he said amidst the drenched souls gasping through the dark damp heat only to disappear into the silence of the afterthoughts as I have for my own. I once was found now I'm lost - but I've always been here. So where am I?

Yesterday I pondered retirement. 10 years, 20 million dollars. What's it gonna be, jack? Running from the law? Running to it? Changing the world one little power-by-association at a time, or jettisoning burden for free undisciplined roam? Ah, there's the real rub, Ham, my boy. What dreams may come pend deliberation of the dreams that have been. Too powerful a dream may just eliminate future. Too weak may eliminate past. Too futile and the entire country is depressed due to CNN's self-depricating piteous coverage of nothing.

How about this? Where's the deliberate decision today? Just one, in this world where thinking has never been required to get to the finish line. Perhaps such irreverent ponderings might be followed by an action or two. Where would that labyrinth lead?